uswell i got my inspiration from Tricia actually so mine is based on the same war on terror as she did but hopefully its not the same and if it is I'M SORRY TRICIA.
anyway my story is written in the fairytale style, because that's the only allegory stories ms. Wilson showed us so. so the style is simple and very direct so when your reading it you don't have to think hard about it. my story starts off with 'once upon a time' because i found it fitting that it should start that way if i wanted it to be a fairytale. it also starts with the same basic overview of the two rival castles and tells you of the beautiful princess.
i used anagrams to hide the meaning of my inspiration. but ill make them obvious now in this commentary.
George bush-Gregor hubs
Saddam Husein-Addam Sushien
Oil-Lio
i used these to show how the two princes (George bush and Saddam Husein) used Lio (oil) as just one more excuse for their unnecessary rival, they had just one more excuse to fight with one another and in the end it doesn't solve anything.
I used them going to boarding school and fighting over petty things just in a smaller scale as a kind indicator of how war is just a little boys game only people get really badly injured and many die. i wanted to show how juvenile it was.
i used this story because it happened in our generation we all know about the war on terror and the war in Iraq. its something everyone can relate to. people only a couple of years older than us are going to war and 'dying for their country' but their governments don't care just as long as they come out on top. the soldiers the working men and woman are dying for no cause their dying because of their governments greed and a stupid child rivalry to be better than the other.
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Your commentary explains your motivation and your main language choices well. I like the anagrams - they have a fairytale feeling while still being clear. You make a good point about the choice of simple language for a fairytale - perhaps you could give a few other examples? I like your broader idea of the childish "little boy" game that war seems to be - this is carried through well in the various aspects of the story. I also like the way your passion for the topic comes through in your commentary - writers I admire, like Iain Banks, are always clear about which side they are on.
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